Archiwum
- Index
- John D MacDonald Travis McGee 13 A Tan and Sandy Silence
- Skradzione chwile 2. Marie De Witt Oszustwo
- flower of the morning Celine Conway
- 169. Mather Anne Sekretne miejsce
- GrudziśÂ„ski T. BolesśÂ‚aw śÂšmiaśÂ‚y Szczodry. Dzieje konfliktu
- śąuchowski Henryk Ryszard SśÂ‚ownik savoir vivre'u dla Pani
- Clancy Tom Splinter Cell 02 Operacja Barakuda
- M333. (Duo) Webber Meredith Lekarz serc
- Curwood James Oliver WśÂ‚adca skalnej doliny
- (39) Olszakowski Tomasz Pan samochodzik i... Wynalazek inżyniera Rychnowskiego
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don t want him to hang over us, though. This has nothing to do
with Rick.
Except he s
He s around, and he s your employer, I said with a slight
nod. But the band and I can handle him. I ll make sure no one
sends you packing. I just want this to be between you and me, and
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how he decides to deal with it isn t our problem. I ve let him
dictate far, far too much of my life. And yours. That s over now.
Brad separated his fingers and let me lace mine in between.
Are you sure about this?
Absolutely.
He smiled. Then he kissed me, and wrapped his arms around
me, and we sank back into bed, and I didn t give a damn about
anything else for the rest of the night.
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CHAPTER 13
Brad Reese
As the dust settled, reality set in.
You all right? he asked.
I sighed. We both want this, I said. But we have to be
realistic. Can we make it work?
He touched my hand. No one knows if a relationship will
work.
No, but sometimes you can tell if they re doomed to fail. I
shook my head. I want you, Zander. God, I want you. The way I
feel about you is& I lowered my gaze. I want to be with you,
and get to know you more, and take care of you when the business
wears you down the way it does, but I& I can t be the reason this
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all falls apart for you. You and the band need Rick. I m
replaceable.
Brad. He squeezed my hand. You re not replaceable to me.
I winced, but then met his eyes. Come on. We both know you
can have any guy you want.
Except you, apparently. He furrowed his brow. Why are you
so worried about this? What more can I do to convince you that
there s nothing I m unwilling to do to make this work.
I hesitated. Because I m afraid if it comes down to choosing
between me and Rick, or me and keeping peace in the band, or
whatever, you re going to resent me.
Zander s lips parted. Resent you? Brad, I love you. I barely
know you, but I& I know enough to know I love you.
The words made my heart clench. I know. And I love you,
too. That s the problem. I don t want to lose this. I don t want you
to realize in six months or whatever that being with me costs you
too much.
He stared at me as if he couldn t even imagine such a thing.
Lucky bastard.
I pulled in a breath. Look, my ex& I shook my head. He
came to live with me after we d had a long distance thing for a
while. When his job didn t work out, and his mom s health took a
downturn, he resented me. And can I really blame him? I made
him give up
You didn t make him give anything up. Zander squeezed my
shoulder. And you re not making me give anything up. This is my
choice. This is what I want.
My shoulders and my heart sank. That s exactly what he
said.
And he s not me. Zander leaned in and kissed me lightly.
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Look, everything in this business has strings attached. People
praise me and give me things and do things for me, but it s all
because they want me to scratch their back, too. But from the
beginning, you ve gone out of your way for me without expecting
anything in return.
I don t want anything in return, I whispered. I just want you
to be happy.
Zander nodded. I know. And I want you to be happy. I want to
be the one who makes you happy.
I closed my eyes and exhaled. I want that, too.
Then to hell with everyone else. He kissed me softly. I want
you.
My heart fell into my feet. I wanted him, too, but I couldn t be
the reason Zander Lynch s career crumbled. And what happens if
the band splits up? If your career tanks because of me. I exhaled
hard. I don t want you to resent
No. He moved closer and reached for my face. Brad, the
only one I resent is Rick. If the band falls apart, it falls apart. I
stayed with him all this time because I didn t want to lose the band,
but I was miserable. Fucking miserable. I m tired of giving up who
I am and who I want to be with for people who d rather leave than
see me happy. He caressed my cheek. And to be honest, you re
the only one who s given a damn about me. God, Brad, you ve put
me above you so many times. I don t want you to make yourself a
lower priority, but you actually give a fuck about how I feel and
what I want.
Of course I do.
Listen, that night out at the lake, it& Zander shook his head
as he released a long breath. Maybe it didn t seem like it to you,
but that was amazing for me.
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It was for me, too. I shivered at the memory of how he d
looked at me and how we d touched.
I want more of that, he whispered. Not you going out of
your way to do things for me, but just& just the two of us being
together. Those nights in the back of the bus? That night smoking
behind the hotel? All of that.
I exhaled, but didn t know what to say.
Zander went on, The only relationship I ve had for the past
few years has been that volatile thing I ve had with Rick. With
you, it s& calmer. It s peaceful and& it s nice. I ve never had that
with anyone before. Quite honestly, I don t want it with anyone but
you.
I forced myself to look in his eyes. I can t destroy this for you,
Zander.
He shook his head. The only thing you re destroying for me is
my ability to sleep. He touched my face, gently drawing me
closer. And my ability to concentrate. Closer still. And& God,
Brad, I m a mess because of you.
My throat tightened. So am I.
Stay with me, he whispered so softly I barely heard him.
What could I do? I loved him. I didn t want to be anywhere he
wasn t.
So I stayed.
* * *
We returned to the venue a few hours later. I hoped to God I
was the only one who could hear my heart pounding as we headed
toward the buses. They were parked behind the venue, and most of
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